Through The Tulips Words of 'Wiz'dom

I few nights ago I had a meltdown on the phone with mom and sometime during the course of the conversation I apologized to her for feeling as though I’m negative. She assured me that I’m not a negative person but that I’ve been tossed some pretty negative situations lately and they’ve all had an effect on me, maybe even more than I know.

It really bothers me to think that I’ve allowed any of the poison dished out by others to seep into my soul and become part of who I am. I know ” I ” am not a negative person, but I also know that being around negativity often is toxic and can seep into your life before you realize. That’s what I felt was happening, and probably another reason this vaction couldn’t be happening at a better time.

I want to spend more time focusing on the ‘great’ things in my life and not the insane things that others do that I have no control over. That’s sometimes easier said than done- but practice makes perfect, right?

If all goes according to schedule- tomorrow at this time we’ll be in the air and headed home. Before we go- I want to kick off the vacation with a few moments of gratitude.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• Meeting the work goal that I set for myself earlier this year.
• Being blessed with wonderful friends.
• Feeling truly loved for who I am- faults and all.
• Not having to cook on our last night home-  Soup from my mother-in-law.
• Moments of silence and an unexpected project that I wasn’t expecting.

It has been one of those days and I find that when I am feeling this way- it’s best to focus even more on the things I’m grateful for in life. I know that we all have these days from time to time and the great thing is that tomorrow is another day.

Right now- (like every day)- I do have much to be grateful for- so I thought I’d share a few things.

My Gratitude List for October 23, 2010.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• In spite of being caught in a major traffic jam today on the Interstate and being an hour late getting JJ to the breeders, we still made it safely.
• There being only a few short weeks until our vacation and I am SO ready.
• Not having to cook tonight.
• Notes from friends that make me smile.
• Being loved and accepted no matter what.

Today I’ve found myself thinking a lot about my grandmother.  It would have been her birthday today, if she had not passed away in 2001.   Sometimes I go weeks without thinking of her, and other times I think of her days on end.   I miss her.  I also miss Carol.   In fact – I miss many people.

I’m still grateful- I’m grateful for the opportunity to have had these people in my life and to have had the chance to love them.

Gratitude List for October 15, 2010.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• The dark, rainy day, which made it easy to stay inside and work.
• Cooler weather, which means I can snuggle up under a blanket and my favorite mug filled with coffee.
• The love of family and friends- for which I’m so blessed to have.
• Seeing some things for what they are, and learning that some things need to be let go.
• The raise that Marcel got yesterday.

My Gratitude List for October 3, 2010.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• Desere coming over for coffee and a chat.
• Spending time in the sunshine-  as my friend Samatha said- it’s like a familar arm draped over your shoulders.
• The smell of banana crumb muffins coming from the kitchen.
• Fresh grilled shrimp.
• New plans and ideas.

With today being the 1st of October, I thought it would be a great time to get back in the habit of creating a daily gratitude list. I want to spend more time focusing on the ‘great’ things going on my life and less time on the things that aren’t. It doesn’t mean I’m avoiding, it simply means that I’m choosing to focus on the positive.

I encourage you to do the same and see what it brings you.

My Gratitude List for October 1, 2010.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• Desere, for stopping in this afternoon to see how I’m doing.
• For the friends who have been checking in on me and showing love and support.
• My brother, who I happen to know is brilliant and wonderful.
• The love and support of my parents.
• The leaves falling from the trees and the cool air.

I’ve been really going through a lot of emotional turmoil lately and I realized that I haven’t listed a gratitude list here in quite some time.   I know that I really need to start doing that on a more regular basis (like I used to) and focus on the things that bring me joy.   I know there are some things that need to find their way through the grey matter and be given their place, but I believe that will come.

In the meantime- I’m going to spend some time trying to focus on the things that I am grateful for and in spite of the grey clouds- there are plenty of rainbows.

My Gratitude List for September 26, 2010.

Today I’m Grateful For:

• An afternoon of quiet time and being home alone-  It is just what I needed.
• JJ and Mister M. who bring such joy to my life.
• Marcel for being in my corner when it counts.
• The sunshine on my face.
• The smell of fresh roasted pumpkin.