If you know me in my eyeryday world- then you know that even though I am human (thankfully) and do have my moments, that I do try to find the positive (silver-lining if you will) in every single day.
It’s no secret to those who know me- that this year my integrity has been tested, my heart has been broken, and at one point I wondered if the pain of it all would ever get any better.
I won’t go into the details here, because quite truthfully- the details don’t matter. Obstacles happen in life- and there is often this misnomer that if we choose to walk away from things that have become too painful and / or toxic to stay a part of that it is easy. I can assure you- it’s anything but. Especially when you have a half-hope that you could be wrong- that you’d really like to be wrong, only to find out that you are anything but.
It goes back to the quote from Maya Angelou that I love so much- “When people show you who they are- believe them.”
So- it’s been a difficult year, but I knew that just as all things- that it would get better, and it has. While some people would let an obstacle make them bitter- or let them live in a victim role, I know that I’m anything but. Was I hurt? Yes!
Did it make me question 90% of every relationship in my life? YES
Did I allow it to make me bitter? NO!!
Rather than become a victim to the story and make it about me- I have thought and analyzed and been able to understand why things are what they are. As I’ve mentioned before- it’s not about me- (it never was) and I know that I’ve always acted with integrity- even when I really didn’t want to. That’s what matters- what I ACTUALLY did when called to task, as opposed to what I THOUGHT about doing.. The truth always takes care of itself.. It will never be my job to be judge, jury and executioner.
So now- months later, I can honestly say I’m better. I’m grateful for the huge life lesson and the doors that it has opened since.
I feel the sun shining on my shoulders and it’s a beautiful feeling.
Grateful- that’s me.
