Yesterday I got word that Marcel’s uncle passed away. His aunt’s husband- who had been struggling with dementia and other health issues for a while. It wasn’t unexpected, but at the same time- it is never ‘easy’. Grief isn’t easy. Losing people is simply not easy. Yet, grief is a price we pay for love and despite earlier feelings this year when I lost not only Denny but also a friend within days of each other & I felt not loving would be less painful, I can’t imagine not loving.
I also found out that the day before that- a childhood friend and one of my first ever crushes (and ultimately rejections) passed away due to Covid 19. At 55 years old & unvaccinated. He still had so much life left to lead- had recently got engaged and was planning a life with her. That’s all been taken away from them both and those who loved him are left behind to deal with that ‘what if’s’ that will never be answered. One thing is for sure- more than likely had he gotten the vaccine- he would still be here today. A sad reality of the choices of so many these days- which is also taxing the hospital systems to the max.
I have strong feelings about this- and as someone who always wants to understand the thoughts of someone else and what drives them- this has become something that has been a source of frustration and anger for me. Not something I can change- but I can change how it causes me to react.
As for now- It’s time for me to take some time to process and grieve- as I can feel that I am a bit off kilter.