This week is my birthday week. Even though I do celebrate in small ways each day the entire month of July- I have learned so much over the last few years. I know that’s the point of life- or at least that’s how I see it- yet something I continue to be reminded and learn is that different people with different experiences and life lens love and see love very differently.
I’ve also realized that many people wrap their self worth in external validation. In social media likes, in praises from others. It’s something I’ve never understood- although I know we all have the desire to know we are being seen and heard, to have our validation as human beings wrapped up in that information is as foreign to me as trying to read Greek.
So many of us tend to judge what we don’t understand- rather than extending compassion, love and understanding. Being open- has taught me that I don’t have to understand to be willing to learn and hear another perspective. It is how we genuinely get to know each other-
Life has been fully of these expansion moments the past few years- and at one point in May- I called my mom in tears saying that I didn’t want to love anyone any longer, simply because I was tired of losing people I loved. I felt at that time as though I had lost all of the joy I usually carried with me everywhere- delighting in the simplicity of the beauty life has to offer. I remember mom saying that it would come back and while logically that seemed true, it has taken a while, but I’m almost there. Rather than focusing on the fact that I felt no joy- I continued to find tiny things in each day that would generally bring me joy, even if I couldn’t ‘feel’ it at the moment. Eventually, little by little the joy has returned, as I have worked on myself and learned more about me and others. Currently- I’m filled with joy as I can look up from the laptop and see my dog sleeping on the floor- his front legs crossed, lying on his side and a gentle snore coming from his mouth. He feels safe, comfortable, at peace and loved. It’s the best place to be.
Today and tomorrow I’m grateful for the lessons that have expanded my heart muscle and given it yet more room to love.